Getting a divorce is one of the most trying times in anyone’s life, and those going through the process will find that amicable separations make the whole situation much easier. However, splitting amicably can be a trying process. Most people experience a range of emotions, including guilt, anger and fear as they move on with their lives. The following tips are sure to make any divorce process easier on both parties, so you can get started on your new life sooner rather than later.
Deal with Your Emotions
Making the decision to split is emotional, and you need to take some time to get your emotions in check. Whether this is booking a weeks-long vacation or simply getting off work a couple hours early to reflect is entirely up to you; however, it’s important that you take the time to sort through your emotions by yourself. Don’t simply think about things like “What went wrong” either. Instead, think about why you feel the way you do and how you can apply those new lessons to your future life.
Don’t Blame Your (Former) Spouse
This can be especially hard if your spouse was unfaithful or broke your trust in some way; however, when most people diffuse their anger, they usually move on a little faster. This doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with your ex, but it may help you to think of the situation as a crossroads, with better things to come for both of you. Those who blame their spouse tend to drag out divorce proceedings.
Know You’re Not Going to Get Everything
A lot of people provide huge lists of everything they feel they’re entitled to when splitting up. Instead, it’s important to go into your divorce realizing that you are not going to get everything you want—even if you feel it is rightfully yours. Instead, think about what you really need and want and what items your spouse feels the same way about. Making concessions about one thing in favor of your spouse makes them more likely to give you something you want in return.
Think of Your Children
If you have kids together, think about their needs as well. Some children may need therapy while others need to talk to both parents separately. Speak to your children and see what you can do to help them understand what’s going on and that you’re there to help them. The number one thing you do not want to do is bad-mouth your spouse. After all, that’s their mom or dad you’re talking about!
Trust the Process
The divorce process is hard on everyone, but you need to realize that divorces are granted every single day—many without incident. Talk to your divorce mediation specialist or attorney about what to expect and create a plan that both you and your spouse are happy with before turning it over to the courts. An uncontested divorce can usually be completed in a few weeks.
Getting a divorce is hard but splitting amicably makes the process a lot easier for all parties involved. Filing for an uncontested divorce with a mediation expert can help facilitate your split in a cost-effective, thoughtful way while saving both parties time and money. Before resigning yourself to a lengthy courtroom battle, look into Denver divorce mediation and see if it’s right for you.