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‘Big Brother 20’ Power Rankings for Week 8: Channeling My Inner Zingbot

Spoiler Warning: The following article details some of the events of the past week that either have not been showcased on past CBS episodes or may air in a future CBS episode.

The arrival of the annual roasting robot Zingbot this past week on “Big Brother 20” has inspired this unique version of analysis of the remaining nine houseguests. It was certainly a week filled with inexplicable logic, idiotic game play and an increasing amount of smooching in the Head of Household bedroom.

In addition to the power rankings, I’ll be including each houseguest’s chances to win the top prizes of $500,000 and $50,000, from a scale of 1:1 (best) to 10:1 (worst)…

With the eighth eviction on perennial CBS summer favorite “Big Brother 20” coming Thursday night, here is the scoop (thru August 23 which is Day #65 in the house) on the remaining 9 houseguests:

1. JC Monduix
Odds to win $500,000: 4:1
Odds to win $50,000: 4:1

“Did you hear that JC has been successful in getting others to buy into him? It’s because he sold himself at half off. ZING!”

2. Tyler Crispen
Odds to win $500,000: 4:1
Odds to win $50,000: 3:1

“Tyler, you may have created the most anticipated ‘Big Brother’ finale yet, when you’ll bring Angela, Kaycee, Brett, JC, AND Sam INTO your Final 2. We’ll sure be looking forward to that! ZING!”

3. Kaycee Clark
Odds to win $500,000: 4:1
Odds to win $50,000: 4:1

“Who could forget about Kaycee? The ‘Big Brother’ audience, that’s who. ZING!”

4. Angela Rummans
Odds to win $500,000: 5:1
Odds to win $50,000: 4:1

“Angela, gymnast, pole vaulter, fitness model, a people-pleaser, a witty commenter… is there anything you CAN do? ZING!”

5. Brett Robinson
Odds to win $500,000: 6:1
Odds to win $50,000: 5:1

“Paul found a way to be a ‘Big Brother’ houseguest for the third straight year. He recently entered a lab experiment that removed all his tattoos, piercings and bushy beard, and got himself a tan, more muscles and a better-looking face. And then he changed his name to Brett. The only thing the scientists forgot to fix was a personality that would win over a jury. ZING!”

6. Sam Bledsoe
Odds to win $500,000: 7:1
Odds to win $50,000: 7:1

“Sam, it must be a downer having folks thinking of you more fondly as a robot. But take it from me, a fellow bot — you can actually get paid to be annoying. You shouldn’t have a problem there! ZING!”

7. Faysal Shafaat
Odds to win $500,000: 10:1
Odds to win $50,000: 10:1

“Faysal, I didn’t need to write any comedy material for you. Your entire gameplay was already a joke. ZING!”

8. Haleigh Broucher
Odds to win $500,000: 9:1
Odds to win $50,000: 9:1

“Haleigh, it must be nauseating thinking that your father is at home watching you constantly kissing…

…your chance at $500,000 goodbye. ZING!”

9. Scottie Salton
Odds to win $500,000: 10:1
Odds to win $50,000: 10:1

“Scottie, whenever someone tells me you never got lucky, from now on, they’re going to have to specify if they’re referring to your virginity or the week when your own ally Faysal nominated you for eviction and sent you to jury. ZING!”

Note: Rankings reflect players’ current game positions; not the author’s personal preference.